I have decided that I am going to indoctrinate myself. Like I did when I was struggling between my love for my ex and the hard reality that he took advantage of it brutally.
Now, who-ever doesn't respect me - I won't respect. Who-ever doesn't want to have anything to do with me - I much more don't want to have anything to do with him/her. Who-ever doesn't love me - I will stop loving.
I am going to turn into the person I detest being. But, self-preservation leaves me no option.
You cannot force someone to respect or love you. That's out of my hands. That's the lesson I've learned after trying to please for decades. The ones I love most don't love me back. So, I will have to stop loving them. I am going to convince myself that I am capable of doing so. There will be back-drops for sure. But, I am going to try very hard.
That's my resolution. Because the alternative is giving up. On life.
- ▼ February (9)
- ► 2011 (56)