Too hot and humid to enjoy the outdoors tho i hate the "indoors".
Organizing and cleaning the shelves that hadn't been cleaned for over a year or more at the entrance of the apartment today.. ever since i rented this apt which hasn't been - isn't - and won't be- my home, but still is better than feeling an enemy within my own home. At those shelves many memoriables are exhibited. Of times passed and gone by (and not even consciously experienced) by me. Previously stored on a shelf within (what I thought was) MY cupboard, waiting to be exposed when happier times would be here.
(those times didn't come - instead the bad times became worse)
It (the cleaning) took a long time. But it's clean now.
The superficial coating has been cleaned. Again.
And then -by coincidence - or does coincidence exist? - stumbled upon Rod Stewart - and the songs that accompanied me during my entry into Israel and what I then thought were more important than anything else in my life: the 'love of my life'
I don't wanna talk about it ( which was pretty much the stance i took that time trying to avoid having to face reality)
and, of course, sailing, because sailing was the song that my "sweetheart" sang on the night I thought I had met my happiness (instead of my defeat into hell)
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