Things happening fast

And so, barely a week later from starting to communicate again, we had some news that wasn't "planned". And so, I'm gonna be the rely on factor. I hope all goes well. I pray all goes well. Please let everybody keep their fingers crossed tomorrow morning.

My heart bleeds. I just cannot see my little girl distressed.

Another "mehapach"

And yes, again, like it seems to happen so many times once in a while....


a total turnaround of matters has occurred.

Strangely enough I'm not dipping in. I'm maybe getting more rough on the soul and more adult? Knowing that all good (sometimes) and all bad (mostly) will roll in and roll out of my life like the waves of that incredibly gorgeous sea?

as a matter of fact:


i think anyone, everybody, will side with me in saying this is too hard to live with.


and, no-one, and certainly not me, deserves this.


i'm out of here...

the heights I wanted to reach and perhaps never knew the reality of

I wanted to reach the heights of total happiness. Not alone. Because I am not a person who can manage being alone. Though my mom used to say she didn't wanna have any more kids so I didn't have to 'share'.

I would LOVE to share. I am looking all of my life to only SHARE.

Damnit!!!


And because of the destiny I was born with I end up like the origins. ALONE.


Even alone from my children. The "thing" that represents your continuation of blood line, genes and the lot of it.

What I want most I won't get. And I'm totally convinced that this is the truth.


I wanted love most. I didn't get. I wanted family most... I didn't get.


There really isn't anything else that comes close to the feeling of complete bliss as does having the ones that are most close to love me and love them. And admit that...

So, before posting my clip about the tremendous respect and awe in view of nature and especially the sea tomorrow, here's a song that makes me cry.... (and from the above maybe even outsiders will understand why)

Ups & Downs

Gone through lots of pain this week. Pain in my stomach. Pain because of what my children are doing to me. They don't have to do so, do they? I mean, comparing, I am not really a 'bad' mother. Well, at the moment (and moments change literally by the moment) I'm OK. Still, this have been a very difficult week. I might be grandmother again from my 3rd grandchild for all I know. I won't be notified :(

Whatever.. I hope they are OK and healthy and happy. It's not their fault they got the absolute opposite education when they were children from what I would have wanted. He, the 'ex' was also overpowering me, just like I think he's doing now to my children.

I went to see a manpower office in Kfar Saba. While figuring out how to get to the third floor of the building I couldn't help but laugh (out loud) at the following:



SHIT management :P


Earlier this week I was enjoying total rest at the Duck's Pond -no people around at all almost- when a t.v. crew came to stand right next to me. I gave them some angry looks but it didn't help. So I left. Later this week I saw the program and it had nothing to do with the Duck's Pond.



And so, they're predicting 'the mother of all storms' tomorrow. They advise people to stay home. And so of course... I prepare myself to walk to and from the sea. They promise 6 meter high waves and that's something I really do not want to miss.

This kind of plastic 'cape' I just bought so that my camera will stay dry underneath it dangling around my neck:

photos on my path

The first is of last week. The clouds were obscuring the moon but with the naked eye it didn't look at all like this photo shows. The halo must be as seen through an optical eye :P